We arrive at the party early - traffic was light, our previous engagement ended early (more on this another day) and even after having some... navigational problems... we were half an hour early. No problem, we're listening to a play off game so we chill in my car for a bit. When we go upstairs, SwingerWoman answers the door wearing a satin nightie and makes a joke about us getting lost between the parking lot and the apartment. We settle in to some small talk which was so boring that I honestly couldn't tell you what we talked about... mother's day plans? repeating more of the same from the initial meeting?
SwingerMan arrives with the next couple, which he had been picking up from the subway.
Erik the Red and His Wench
He's.. a viking? Quite large, long red hair, long beard. She's tall and thin, quite pretty. Definitely one of those couples where you take a moment to wonder how they ended up together. Erik the Red and his wench sit down and we continue with the small talk. They do some sort of work in leather supply. She's actually American and working towards her citizenship. SPOILER: At the end of the party, seeing him naked, I could not find his cock. I can only hope for the Wench's sake that he's a serious 'grower', 'cause he sure as hell ain't a 'shower'.
Two more couples arrive...
Perky Tits and the Geek
At first look I figure that Perky Tits will be LDs favourite of the night. Similar build to mine - perhaps a little larger (ok, now that I've lost so much weight, DEFINITELY a little larger) but still very curvy, and gorgeous perky tits. Short brown hair and glasses... I felt horribly saggy in comparison, even wearing a bra. I totally should have asked her how she does it. I bet she had work done. He is tall, skinny and geeky... brown hair and glasses... fairly nondescript otherwise. Panics at the fact that we mishear him say 'geeky' and think he said 'kinky' ... geez dude, don't act as if it's some STI or fate worse than death.
Porn 'Stache and Asian Lady
She is a hot Asian in a slinky silver dress. But wait... is she wearing PANTYHOSE? Really? Even if you're not a fan of them, you couldn't have put up with some stockings for the night? He's got the grooviest 70's porn 'stache that I've ever seen in person. I don't mean that as a compliment. They've known SwingerMan and SwingerWoman for a while, have apparently been to these parties before, but pretty much keep to themselves.
We're waiting on 2 more couples, and the nervous chatter continues. Talk about digestive issues when consuming foods that cause allergies, recipe sharing, and going gray versus going bald are just some of the totally hot and sexy conversations we have to ramp ourselves up for the orgy. Finally, another couple arrives
The 'Alternative' Couple
She arrives wearing a body stocking and short skirt (don't worry though, she's got underwear on underneath), and some really hot shoes that would perfectly match this one bra that I've got. My first thought is that perhaps a larger skirt would be in order - she's sporting some serious muffin top, which is NOT attractive encased in a body stocking. He's got a shaved head, fairly skinny, unremarkable otherwise. Turns out they've both got pierced tongues, and she's got pierced nipples and a VCH piercing. That seems... promising? She oohs and ahhs over my knee high boots, which LD has elected to leave on me for the night, along with my stockings. Turns out they're late because they live in Ajax, or were coming from Richmond Hill, or something involving snow. I'm not really sure. At this point I'm wondering if there will ever be any fucking...
We're still waiting for one more couple. Apparently he's a musician and she works Saturday's so 'it's to be expected'. More banal pleasantries. I honestly have no memory about what we spent all of this time talking about. FINALLY, the last couple arrives...
Natasha and Boris
She's got a red bob, about my build and is dressed in a black off the shoulder top, black capris and red fishnets. When she gets undressed she's wearing a fake red corset (not the kind you can seriously tighten) and the fishnets are those pantyhose made to look like stockings on a garter. He's wearing.. jeans? a little stocky, dark skin tone, glasses. Both have accents. This couple is a long time friend of SwingerMan and SwingerWoman, so there's much catching up and yet more introductions.
The time is now somewhere just before 10pm and I'm thinking that LD is definitely getting the better end of the bargain, 'cause the women are all much hotter than the men, and I'm NOT getting the 'uninhibited' vibe that the ad for this party promised.
That, though, my Dear Readers... is a story for tomorrow...
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