Mea Culpa

I seem to be spending a lot of time apologizing to you all, Dear Readers... Alastair had me hostage yesterday.  I've finally broken free temporarily to write to you all!

It occurs to me, as I sit here, that my sex life has become... routine... plentiful, yes, but actually bordering a little on vanilla... Sure we have a ton of sex (fuck LD can go on FOREVER... envy me girls) but ever since Alastair has become more of a pain in the.. head.. LD has been coddling me a little more... we haven't been playing as much... and as much as I appreciate it and know that He's doing it because He loves me and is trying to take care of me... it's starting to make me a little cranky. And giving me a dearth of writing material for the blog...

As I sit here, I'm starting on 2 week away from LD, as part of the grand experiment where we prove once and for all if my house with DH is causing Alastair... I'm spending as much time as possible in the house for the next 2 weeks, and then living with LD for 6 weeks after that.  If it really IS the house, and not a placebo effect, I should be migraine free for about 4 - 5 of those 6 weeks.

and let this be official notice to You, Master: I expect a lot of fucking play.  Hell, at this point, migraine or no migraine, I need some dirty nasty degrading one-step-past-the-edge play...

This weekend was a good first step...

LD and I went for a long walk on Saturday, and one our way out, discovered a stairwell to the parking garage of the new condo complex being constructed next door.  I'm sure you can all picture it... full of garbage, abandoned for all intense and purposes... and on Sunday night, under the cover of darkness, home to one piggy slut on her knees sucking off her Master.  Once finished, He made me crawl up the dirty concrete steps, surrounded by coffee cups and discarded bits of chain link fence and other random refuse.. and then down the last few steps (the stairwell is raised, so to get to the parking garage you climb up 4 steps before going down a flight of them)... then along the scaffolding leading out of the construction site... and then got a few lovely swats to the ass once standing, while loudly proclaiming my ownership (to the delight of the guy walking to his car who was in the right place at the right time)...

It was long overdue, and the scraped up hands and knees were well worth it, and continues to be a lovely reminder of this last weekend.

You know what I love?

There's never any shortage of idiots and weirdos on Craigslist to cover for me when my migraine is bad and nothing exciting is happening to me...

Seeking a porn host - m4mw (Scarborough) 23yr

from craigslist toronto | casual encounters search "m4mw"

hello there, 

I am looking for a porn host who is single or can host. I need a place to watch porn freely. At home, I got roommates. 
I wanna come by at your place to watch porn. I got my own DVDs. 
If you want, you can watch with me. I like big fat tits and bbw porn. 
So, anyone who has a place and is willing to give me a spare room to watch it, I'd highly appreciate that. 
Guy or girl, doesn't matter. So, let me know if you can host. 

thanks

I'm confused

Re: party last saturday night - m4m - 24 (church st.) (you're nuts)

So, let me get this straight, you got raped by not one, not two, but, three people, and you desperately want it to happen again? 

Dude, you're fucked.

except... there's no original message.  I read CL through my RSS feed, so I see flagged and removed messages even after they've been taken down off of the CL site, and I can not find any reference to a party or rape anywhere.

So dear readers - what do YOU think the original message said?

They do say that men never really grow up...

Submissive, and sleep with teddybear every night....curious? - m4w (M4L3B4) 46yr

from craigslist | miscellaneous romance in toronto

I've tried this in the past, and was not successful...I hope that this ad will be different. I've had 2 "unusual" interests in my life, and haven't had the chance to properly involve both of them in a relationship. They are: 
1) Finding a woman that is dominant, and is maternal...which plays into my second which is... 
2) Being cared for as a "little" (an adult treated like a child...bathed, talked to as a child..being called baby, lil monkey...like that..told what to eat, made to potty before going out..) 

Certainly this borders on "edge play" and perhaps even infantilism. I'm good with it, and hope to find someone that is nurturing, healthy, comfortable with themself..and is open to this type of play. You should be honest, a bit zany (like me....no doubt), and enjoy life to the maximum. If you reply, naturally a picture will get mine. I will pose for the picture that you get, just let me know what you want to see...and i'll be more than happy to model. :) 
Not exactly looking for this to be something that is 24/7...but certainly a part of a developing relationship, which I would like to see evolve into a long term relationship...if things click. 

About me: 
5'10" 
185lbs 
hazel/green eyes 
short brown hair (losing it, and a bit of grey mixed in where there still is some) 
goatee 
fit, and in shape 
employed 
willing to have body hair/etc. shaved to suit 
wear/wet diapers at night (for nocturnal incontinence..as a result of an inguinal hernia surgery..that went sideways) 
and.....well....i sleep with a teddybear every night.....that's my comfort thing. :) 

Feel free to email, and lets see where this new journey can take us. I'm willing to give it 100%, and help you to find your inner sexuality, and explore any kinks, areas of exploration that may want to check out. I'm open minded, and likely am dying to try most things that you've wanted to do. Let's see where this can go. I am interested in a real life meeting, not to cyber. Although, for comfort and safety, I can understand if you want to email prior to talking on phone/meeting in person. Again, a picture would show good intentions..and I will reply with same. 

Thank You for reading.....bye bye 

Help!

I'm locked in a house and being forced to do laundry... I wonder if I'd be punished if I just layed down and took a nap on the pile of clothing instead of washing it...

I'll let you know how that turns out tomorrow...

More Weirdness

Hi, I am looking for a girl with a flat stomach - m4w 25yr

from craigslist | miscellaneous romance in toronto

But I can't seem to find her. I have a flat tummy myself. I am looking for a girl to hang out with. If sex happens, then that's great but we don't have to force it. I am D&D free, and I have plenty of condoms, in case you were worried. I don't care if you smoke or drink alcohol, just please be disease free. Let's start by chatting and go from there. I have photos to share, other than what you see below. 

It's always important to have things in common.... like flat stomachs... before you start hanging out with your condoms "just in case" sex happens...

Ew... and... WTF?

Son...your woman wants me - m4mw (Downtown)

from craigslist toronto | casual encounters search "m4mw"

Hey son, you probably suspect by now that your woman and me have 
have a bit of connection. She's been coming on to me. 
I warned you that she was a flirt and a little slutty. 

She is too embarassed to ask you but she would love to suck my cock 
whle you watch, then suck a daddy / son combo. 

You know she always get what's she wants. 
So we may aswell make this happen and keep her happy. 
Let me know when you want to come by.

... ... ew

Sorry Folkes

All joking aside, my head has really been bothering me this week and it's turning me in to a space cadet.  Sorry for missing most of this week, I'll try to do better starting Monday.

I know you'll forgive me though, I give the best head ;)

Oh My

Dear me!  Do I ever have a story for you dear readers... it's only just now that I am able to sit and type this tale.

When we last spoke, it was Monday and I had revealed to you all that BR was back in town and trolling the CL forums for more unwitting partners.  Then, all of a sudden this revelation sunk in to my delicate feminine constitution and I came down with a case of the vapors the likes of which I haven't succumbed to since the grocery store was out of ben and jerry's.

I'm very serious about my ice cream.

So there I was, without my smelling salts, in a daze of hysteria. Visions came to me, and I think that I spent a brief time in 1942 reliving a past life.  All of a sudden, I came to and after tidying myself up a bit, realized that it was Wednesday!

So I apologize, Dear Readers, for missing my blog post yesterday... I was otherwise indisposed.

Guess Who's Back?!

Battering Ram has returned from BC... I guess things didn't work our for him there (again).... He's back to posting the same ads that he was when he and I were involved.  For the sake of some interesting content for this blog I'm almost tempted to reply to one....

almost.

I am your foot slave - m4mw - 29 (Dundas/Credit Woodlands)

I'm looking for a woman who loves having her feet worshipped. I love to massage, kiss, lick and suck every inch of a woman's feet. I adore everything about them. The softness, the smells, the way they feel on my face and cock. 

This could lead to something more, but I definitely wish to be your little pleasure servant. Ongoing is preferred. I'm looking for the right connection, so I'm not going to worship just anybody. E-mail me and lets see if we click :) 

I'm a redheaded, slim, smooth guy with boyish good looks. I look younger than I am. I have a pretty decent tan for a redhead ;) 

I'm respectful, considerate, kind, and patient. These are the qualities I am really proud of in myself. But above all, I love sexually pleasing. I love providing you with every conceivable sexual service you could want and desire nothing in return (unless of course YOU get the same kind of pleasure from providing pleasure as I do). 

420 friendly, non-drinker (the odd beer), and I do smoke the occassional cigarette when the fancy hits me. 

Any age or race welcome, but preference given to older women. 

Hope to hear from you soon. :) 

A Forward Thinking Couple

Hey everyone... what are you all doing in December? No plans yet?  Need to take things nice and slow with someone before you get involved?

Looking for a couple in December - mw4mw

from craigslist toronto | casual encounters search "mw4mw"

Mature couple looking to get together at a hotel near the airport for the first Saturday in December. Looking for someone who may be a little new to this as well. Would like to get to know each other through emails and pics as well. Just a night of fun for everyone. Hope to hear from you soon.

Must be a Lady Gaga Fan...

Is a 'fuckmonster' a subspecies of Lady Gaga's 'little monster's?  What is a pillow queen?  Who uses the word 'schlong' these days?  These questions and more will sadly remain unanswered, because you can be sure I'm not contacting him... despite his plea for literate partners...

Cum 4 the cock, stay 4 the tongue, return 4 the really good hands. - m4w 45yr

from craigslist | miscellaneous romance in toronto

Insatiable, healthy, careful fuckmonster seeks pretty pillow queen with really big knockers for excessive penetration and endless oral. Brn hair, brn eyes, handsome face, solid bod, thick schlong, unapologetically oversexed. 
Very literate responses move to the top of the pile. 

U kno thr srs

I present this without comment... my head is still hurting from the 1337 speak

YOUNG DOM COUPLE 4 A SUBMISSIVE 1 - mw4mw (downtown) 27yr

from craigslist toronto | casual encounters search "mw4mw"

We will be in Toronto the August 12th-24th visting family 

WE'RE BRINGING 2 SUITCASES FULL OF TOYS (Erotic Electro Stimulation (E.E.S.) Tens Unit, Violet wand, blindfolds, handcuffs etc....) 

We Prefer a RESPECTFUL SUBMISSIVE single female – but the RIGHT submissive male or couple may also be welcome? 

I'm a hot bi Asian (Korean/Japanese) 27 years old, 5'7 tall and 115lbs perfect body, nice perky tits and amazing ass tiny waist, great legs, beautiful pedicure toes size7, long hair 

He's is a HANDSOME Italian 29 years old, six foot 205lbs Very masculine 8" thick & circumcised muscular body 

We're in to many fetishes - forced sissification, forced bi, body worship, stocking fantasy, fetish, golden showers, smothering, spanking & Strap on play, Humiliation, 
Trampling, Cuckolding, CBT, Domination - just plain old bdsm fun (no scat or hardcore pain) 

Maybe some vanilla bi 3some or 4some action if you're really submissive & hot 


Please send us a face pic, stats, and tell us what your boundaries are. 


We are all clean, shaved & disease free and only plays SAFE!!! 

YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considered 

1) R u disease free 
2) R u willing 2 split the costs of a nice hotel or host in downtown? (super hot female need nothing ) 
3) R u willing 2 pleasures BOTH of us? 


(U WIIL NOT GET A RESPONSE IF DO NOT ANSWER ALL THE?'s!!!) 

DON'T WASTE OUR/YOUR TIME!!! Commit 2 a time and make it? As we don't like flakes and don't plan on wasting R whole day in a room. Waiting around! 
Phone # will speed things up!!! 

We R considering a few fetish people (single girls, guys & a few couples) who ever seem the most respectful, serious & sincere we will meet - we have been stood up a few times b4 - wasted r time - money & sexual energy!!! So this time we would like 2 have at least a few backups 

please no endless e mails-or 1 liners 

Only email us if your TRULY serious!! 



mw4w mw4m mw4t mw4mw 



YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considered 
YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considered 
YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considered 
YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considered 
YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considered 
YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considered 
YOU MUST answer all 3 of the following questions in your first email 2 be considere 

More Lessons Learned

Three things I learned this weekend that I DIDN'T know...

1. I am capable of holding a full bladder and enema, while being fucked, and orgasming, without spilling a single drop

2. The muscle movements required for an orgasm are diametrically opposed to the muscle action required to hold in a vast quantity of liquid in ones bowels and bladder

3. Conflicting muscle movements make for unsatisfactory orgasms

Lessons Learned

Five things that I *knew* but apparently had to *relearn* over the weekend:

1. Enemas, while pleasant and enjoyable and erotic while going in, is like the worst case of the shits coming out... over the course of the next 24 hours (note, this is especially true if while holding said enema, someone is fucking you vigorously, forcing the liquid higher up than it might go otherwise)

2. Ciabatta Baguette and Butter is one of the few foods that SOUNDS appetizing when I have no appetite and am feeling waves of nausea

3. Ciabatta Baguette and Butter is one of the WORST foods I can eat - it only makes me feel violently nauseous and weak, just like all other food.  IT IS NOT AN EXCEPTION!

4. Pleading with LD to abstain from enema play while the rest of my GI tract is rebelling, is only incentive for Him to decide all the more to do so - He likes it when I'm weak and subservient from feeling ill

5. I do not do my best cooking while feeling ill, and should not attempt 'complicated' meals when I have spent most of the day sleeping due to said illness.

Apparently this is ok...

but my "mentor for sex" ad is not...

BEAUTIFUL WOMEN looking for friendship for allowance (no sex) - w4m

from craigslist | miscellaneous romance in toronto

Looking to do fun activities, travel, and have fun in exchange for allowance. Ask for my photos

If you can't say it...

... you probably shouldn't be doing it... and since when is "down" a word that should be censored?!

Seeking fun, org*smic female who LUVS receiving Or*l ;) - m4w (Dowtown Toronto)

from craigslist | miscellaneous romance in toronto

Fun easy to talk to guy here with varied interests. But really, what I enjoy doing most and have been complimented on the most, is going d*wn on a woman. I enjoy that more than anything in the world. More than traveling which I love. More than dining out which I also love. I really like cuddling too by the way. Anyway, if you're serious, clean and disease free, give me a shout and we'll see what happens. We'll exchange emails and pics and meet at a bar first and take it from there. Bonus points if you're multi-orgasmic as I have lots of stamina. And you can even be greedy and not return the favour if you'd like. Lol ;) Hope to hear from you soon!

Hi Wednesday

So I got laid off yesterday my dear friends... while this means in the long run that I will have more time to devote to coming up with amusing anecdotes for you all, today I am justifiable distracted.  So here's a confusing craigslist ad:

 First time Guy Want female SEX 16 -50 yrs Any race (Toronto & near)

from craigslist | miscellaneous romance in toronto

Prefer Asian - Other type females welcome (Any age or colour) Am Easygoing friendly, polite guy. I`m white Canadian , I have pic I can`t wait to experience exciting thrills (IN & Out) "FUCK Fuck Fuck and lot`s MORE *SEX* *Together Alright ** I love tits * Want to make your Vagina throb:" with pleasure - You can Have my COCK It want you to Play OK Message me ~ I will check Mail every 3 hours ------ To Reply to you I can give you my PHONE NUMBER# We will chose where to go Place * I have apartment I can cum to your place We will Talk about it with you OK Your girl friends welcome Sextime I like Girfriend

Some Self-Pity

Warning: Non-Sexual conversation involving vomit up ahead

Oh Woe Is Me.

I have reached a point where I am going in to talk to my Pharmacist today about dietary supplements... the only food I'm able to eat without being violently nauseous are rice cakes.  Rice cakes are tasty.  They are not nutritionally diverse.  

That said, I do take Iron, B12 and Vitamin C supplements, plus a regular multi-vitamin.  The thought of ensure makes me want to puke.  The thought of 'protein shakes' makes me want to puke even more violently.  I tried eating some scrambled eggs (which I'd secretly fortified with cheese) and some ham and bread yesterday.  I then spent the next two hours lying in bed trying to fall asleep despite the feeling that I'd have to make a mad dash to the bathroom at any minute.

The bread was ok... I had another piece or two later on that afternoon.  So I lied earlier, I'm subsisting on bread and rice cakes.  Bananas and Applesauce are also supposed to be easy to digest, but I hate applesauce and the thought of bananas right now makes me want to gag.

Fun Fact:  I rarely actually vomit.  I feel overwhelmingly nauseous to the point of breaking out in perspiration and hovering near the door of the bathroom, but I never puke.  Sometimes I wonder if I should learn to embrace sticking my fingers down my throat.  Not sure if that would make me feel better or worse.

The golden lining to this is that when I weigh myself tonight I bet you a million dollars that I've continued to lose weight, and that by the time this migraine issue is resolved I will have hit my goal weight. So.. ummm.... yay for weight loss!

I really gotta get some better marketing copy for this diet... I'm not gonna sell it with what I just wrote.

Creep Alert

I know I said I was taking today off, but I couldn't resist sharing this with you... it just got my spidy senses tingling...

My little girl where are you?? - m4w (GTA)

Daddy is looking for his special little girl and so far has not found her.
You should be bewtween 5' to 5' 8" thin build petite body weight around
140 pds max and have small tits and be ready to grow with Daddy.

This is not for everyone however if I find you then it will
be your growth and developement that will prosper together
while we explore our roles in this lifestyle.

Daddy is waiting for you.