Delving in to my Psyche, Part I

I've mentioned here before that I love piss play... I just find it so wonderfully degrading and dirty.

What I've recently discovered though, is that I'm crap at it.  Apparently I either have a shy bladder, or all of my narcotics are fucking me up.  Either way it makes for a very dry play session.

For those of you who do not know (and I won't blame you if you don't, it's a little-known side effect), habitual use of narcotics can cause urinary hesitancy, which in laymens terms is kind of like constipation for pee.... you NEED to pee (quite badly even) and your brain is saying "go on then, pee" and your bladder is giving it the good ol' college try, but nothing comes out... nothing but patience and a *very full* bladder is gonna open the flood gates.

Now because of dear Alastair, I've been on a variety of narcotics for quite some time now... enough that even when I haven't taken any painkiller recently, it can take a while to get the flow started..

...everyone talks about their bladder online, right?  

I'm not over sharing, am I?

oh well, if you didn't want to know the minute details of the goings on between my legs, you wouldn't be reading this blog.

So a few weeks ago... the weekend of the huge enema vs orgasm battle... Sir decided I was going to piss in a bowl for him, on the floor, like the dirty degraded slut that I am.

Let's just say that, while a nice fantasy, this didn't happen.  Despite my best efforts, and that horrible cramping of Bladderzilla trying to conquer nearby internal organs, there was no pee to be had.  

I certainly didn't feel shy or embarrassed to be peeing in front of Master...  so maybe it's not a shy bladder... maybe I just honestly need to be full to the point of literally pissing myself... or maybe Master just needs to settle Himself down in a chair with some music playing and some snacks and just enjoy the show as I kneel on the floor for approximately 2 hours just to be able to produce some piss...