If he was doing something that he felt he wasn't being upfront about, why would he post to his twitter about it? He had no way of knowing if I was following his twitter or not, but had to know that I'd see it eventually...
Why is he putting in effort to explain and 'make things right'? Things are so new that surely it would be easier to just drop me and find a new mark if he was conning me? Yet, he replied to the text message I sent last night about the airline not cancelling their flights, saying that he would call me this evening because he doesn't want me to be troubled. He hasn't invested that much time in me - I don't see the motivation to lie your way out of a situation like you would with a relationship you'd had forever.
Why would he invite me to check up on him, unless he really believed he was telling the truth? He has to know me well enough by now to know that I WOULD check, and not just take his offer as confirmation of truth.
Is my judgement in men really this bad? I mean... seriously? I'm not talking about my bad luck in the bedroom (as evidenced by this blog), but in relationships in general... I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with DH, because he seems to be the big exception to my track record. Maybe he's leading a secret second life behind my back?
He seems to genuinely care, and we seem to be compatible in a million different ways... but how much of that is truth? On the other hand, what's the point of concocting a huge scam? Some of it must be truth...
Weird thing is... I'd still trust him to play with him. I'd put my physical safety into his hands in a heartbeat, and I'm feeling this loss of trust worse than the hardest lashing he'd ever given me. This, folks, is why I usually stick to random one night stands... keep the emotions out of it and there's less opportunity for heartbreak and angst.
this sucks.. I have to say, I've been crazy busy and sick lately and haven't kept up, so I'm a bit behind, but reading the last couple entries.. it's a flag. You know it is.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't mean things have to come to a screeching halt, and it doesn't mean anything has to change right now.. but it does mean that you need to guard yourself a little bit. And that sucks really harshly, cause what is D/s without trust & letting your guard down? But I think maybe, in this case, taking things a bit slower (emotionally, trust-wise) isn't such a bad thing. It's still fairly new and oh so exciting and oh so easy to just.. want to dive in.
If it was me, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt for now.. understanding that you're still opening up to each other, and that you're allowed to have "secrets" (things you're not comfortable sharing or putting out there 100% openly yet).. but recognize that at a certain point, those walls have to come down. If they remain up, and he keeps being less than upfront.. then maybe you need to do some more thinking.
Chels
Is there a way to get in touch with you outside this comment field?
ReplyDeleteI've been reading for a while and would like to ask some questions, perhaps strike up a conversation and get clarification on a few things.
I suppose I'm offering an invitation to discourse (as to what you answer and to what depth is up to you).
Let me know if you'd like to talk. I won't beat around the bush and will answer in kind.
Hello cj33 - I apologize that my e-mail address wasn't in my profile, I thought it was. You can always drop me a line at rubenesquebrunette@gmail.com
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