I am (apparently) indiscriminate. I am bisexual, poly, a switch, and equally happy with high and low protocol relationships/play. That's right folks - I will play with anyone, anytime, in any capacity. It annoys me when people make the assumption that because I like "both" (of whatever it may be) it means that I like "all" or "any". That is a rant for another time, I specifically wanted to discuss protocol and polyamory (or linguistically correctly - polyphilia or multiamory) today.
These are closely linked for me right now, because I am in a very interesting position - my husband is my primary relationship, however we do not have any real D/s dynamic anymore. When we did, we would be what one would describe as "no/low-protocol". With LD, He is significantly higher up on that scale... I would say we're mid-protocol with periods of high protocol thrown in in public.
There has traditionally been much conflict between the 'Old Guard'/high-protocol crowd and the low-protocol group. High-Protocol believes that Low-Protocol aren't seriously in to the lifestyle, will never be more than just 'kinky' or are only in it for bedroom games. Low-Protocol thinks that High-Protocol is stuck up and too confined by their own rules, full of themselves, or taking things too seriously. Obviously these are generalizations and I know plenty of people who identify as one or the other who aren't anything like this, however it is a perception that remains on both sides.
I've done High-Protocol scenes as a submissive, and have enjoyed them. I have had Low-Protocol relationships and scenes from both sides, and enjoyed those. Now that I am embarking on a mid/high-protocol relationship I've started doing some further research in to protocol (we all know how much I like to be informed... is it possible to have a research-fetish?). I found some really great web pages, including this one: http://www.mselorin.com/protocol.html which very closely follows my own thoughts and ideas on the subject. I encourage you to give it a read, it's quite thought provoking.
Having never been in a High-Protocol relationship, I am a Tabula Rasa - coming in to this relationship with LD without any previous training that He will have to 're-program'... experienced enough to be able to play hard, but new enough to be able to mold into whatever shape He desires.
But wait... what about DH? How does one reconcile a 24/7 M/s relationship (using an extreme example) with what is essentially a vanilla marriage. If you look at my rules page, DH is an exception to many rules... for example - no sexual contact with others... except DH. So what is stopping me, when I've been denied orgasms for 2 weeks, to initiate a little hanky-panky with my husband? Does that encounter just not count? It certainly is within the letter of the rule set forth for me, but seems to be breaking the spirit of the rule a little, no? There are plenty of other ways that I could 'break the rules' using DH as an excuse if I wanted to... really any rule could be broken justifying that it was interfering with my vanilla home life, which is my primary relationship and priority.
the thing is... I don't want to do that... it's not part of my personality or mindset to look for loopholes and excuses (ok, I LOOK for loopholes, I just don't use them, DH is the king of loopholes)
that doesn't change the fact that I can foresee potential conflict between my relationship with LD and my relationship with DH. This is going to be complicated to maintain and will require a lot of communication amongst all parties to ensure that toes aren't stepped on. This brings me to my biggest fear...
LD and DH meeting.
Scratch that, it's not their meeting that I fear - that will happen sooner or later and is a requisite for any secondary relationships I have (though I do have concerns over the low-protocol / high-protocol potential for conflict). My *real* fear is LD and DH getting along.. and colluding... DH knows all of my likes, dislikes, fears, and buttons... he could give LD a great many ideas that I'd prefer not be known (who the hell blows air in your face to watch your reaction like you're some sort of kitten?!). Of course, now that I've written this I've practically guaranteed that the two of them will at some point gang up against me and make my life... interesting.
It mean, would be great if they got along, just not.. toooo well, yaknow?
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