I dislike being dependent on anyone. Even with DH, we lead very independent lives for the most part. Submitting to Him requires me to give up that independence and rely on him... from being tied up and unable to drink without assistance, to the extreme example of being completely bound, catheterized, blindfolded, gagged, ear plugged, etc. This ties in to my fear of losing my identity somewhat... being completely helpless and dependent puts my life in to his hands in a way. Once he is in control of my life, he has that power to change it as he likes.
So far, I've enjoyed submitting to him greatly... but it's always been with the knowledge that once I've left his home, I am once again my own person... independent... with my own identity...
Taking things further will take that away from me. Even if I do retain independence and identity, they won't be MY independence or identity... it will be the independence and identity that he allows me.
I don't know how I feel about this.
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