Being Helpful

So I'm in need of some distraction from some very detailed work that I'm doing that is giving me a headache, and my mind wandered to the topic of being helpful.

How do I differentiate 'being helpful' from 'anticipating needs'?  it has always been my thought that a slave should anticipate the needs of her Master and intuitively take care of them.  He should never have to ask to have his drink refilled, or his coat taken, or his slave displayed in a pleasing position, etc.

LD has 'requested' (and has had to remind me on a couple of occasions) that I not be 'helpful' ... moving myself into a position to assist bondage, removing jewelry, anticipating requested movement and doing so before asked... and I get that it's all about control and that 'jumping the gun' is undisciplined and takes back that control that I've supposedly given him.  Totally defeats the purpose of giving him the control in the first place, no?  So while on the one side of the coin, 'being helpful' is about making his life easier, it's also defeating the purpose of the entire situation.

So where is the line?  At what point are you the silent slave, ensuring that his experience (whatever it is) is the best that it can be, without having to interrupt that experience to give orders?  When should you be the living doll, barely daring to blink and breathe without his say so?  Is there an in-between?

I believe that this is something that takes time to learn.  Like old married couples who can intuit their spouses needs and finish off each others sentences, it is a matter of finding out (or being told) which services and activities he would like done silently and automatically, and which he would not.  

Sadly for him, the bulk of my bottoming experience in the last 7 years has been during workshops and demos, where 'being helpful' is practically required (especially when demo bottoming for a newbie whom you're teaching).  It has become second nature to 'assist' in the very manner that I know he finds exasperating.  Despite my efforts to be mindful of this and NOT help, I know that I've slipped up on a number of occasions - it's simply an automatic reaction.  Of all of the things I will struggle with to become his slave, I suspect that this will be one of the most enduring, only because it IS so automatic.  It's not an emotional response that I have to struggle to overcome nor is it a physical or medical limitation; it is a habit as deeply ingrained as my very personality.