The face in the mirror...

"Soft lighting hides the sins of the skin" ... some valuable advice I learned during my brief stint as a porn star.  Many imperfections can be overlooked... harshness is softened. You can hide a lot with soft lighting.

I've carried this advice forward to my Domestic Suburban life - my dressing room has fairly soft light.  I prefer it this way, for obvious reasons, though I do check my makeup in the harsh brightness of the bathroom mirror before leaving the house, just to make sure that I don't look completely like a clown.

This morning, in the light of my dressing room, all made up... I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the face looking back at me.  She was pretty. No, not pretty... beautiful.. gorgeous... mesmerizing. It felt like I was looking at someone else.  I went to the bathroom to put in my contact lenses and the spell was broken.  A valuable lesson about harsh lighting for all of you.  Bright lights hide nothing.

Now, I'm aware that some people find me attractive.  You can get pretty far with big tits and a willing attitude, and I've had my fair share of partners, yeah?  I know what people think are my most attractive attributes and I've learnt how to dress and use makeup to accentuate them.  All of this is done with cold precision and a calculating eye.  I don't look at myself in the mirror and see an attractive woman, I look at myself clinically and analytically... but this morning... wow, I wanted to do me... I wanted to imprint this image in my mind for all of eternity.  For the brief spellbound moment this morning while gazing in the mirror, I wondered - is this how others see me? or do they see the girl in the bathroom mirror, with all of her imperfections jumping out at them?

For all of my distaste of makeup, I appreciated it just a little bit this morning when I looked in the mirror.