The other day, I received an email from a stranger... it read
In this age of openness, authenticity, and social networking, I am amazed at the people and the lives I can discover. You happen to be a favourite of mine for your clarity of thought, your range of emotions - intimate and vulnerable, and the enlightenment that you bring to many topics including the poly and BD worlds. Most of the time, I marvel at your bravery for being some open but I suspect you are not a heroine in any way - just a human being living life to its fullest - bad, good, or indifferent. Are there moments of clarity or peace when you can reflect on how life is different from what you imagined it to be? It does sound like you never look back but are there any situations where you would have liked a redo? I do applaud you and wish for you much fulfillment in your job search, your relationships, and your beautiful soul.
I am always shocked to find that people I do not know are reading blog, let alone enjoying it. In all honesty I write this blog mostly for myself and my Master, as a way to communicate my thoughts and emotions and headspace on a variety of topics. If it is an enjoyable read, or funny... well that's just a bonus, and just reflects my own self-deprecating sense of humour. As I mentioned in the last post I made, however long ago that was when I told myself I'd get back in to blogging regularly ad the didn't, this has been a rough time for me and the last thing I really wanted to do was share my pain with the world. I bundled it tightly inside of me, curled around it protectively in the fetal position and refused to let go. I don't know what depression is like for other people, because we are all special unique snowflakes, but for myself... the more depressed I become, the more I cling to it. It becomes this horrible self-fulfilling downward spiral. If someone could derive power from my depression we would create the ultimate perpetual motion machine.
I digress.
Through the haze of this self-isolation I received this piece of mail. It was like a wake up call - reminding me that there are other people out there... a whole world outside of my head, and that I have millions of connections to it - some known and some unknown. It became a catalyst for my last blog post, jolting me a step forward out of my cave to rejoin the world at large.
I have much to over-share with you, Dear Readers, and I hope that I can get back in to the habit of flaunting the most intimate details of my life and flinging them in to the far reaches of the interwebs. Hopefully I won't clog the tubes with my filth.
No comments:
Post a Comment