Well, it's official

I am now LD's full-time bitch.  Everything is moved in.  Dear Husband who? Did I have a home elsewhere? 

Oh yes... it's where all of those forgotten things are...

Will update more tomorrow... I *promise*

I an a naughty girl

I am so sorry for abandoning you yesterday, Dear Readers.  I must confess, it completely slipped my mind and I didn't even realize I hadn't posted until my dear stalker informed me of this egregious error on my part.

I will blame my shitty mood over the weekend which led to not a whole lot of interesting happenings to talk about on Monday morning.

As well, I am now back with DH for the week, which means less in the way of kinky shenanigans.

I promise to have something interesting to say tomorrow.

A Rant...

When did polyamory fall out of favour?

"Back in the day" it was perfectly normal for people to date a number of people concurrently - teens didn't rush in to 'exclusive' relationships.  Look at the Archie/Betty/Veronica love triangle.  A good commentary on how society is changing is the simple fact that just recently they made Archie choose one over the other.  None of this 'loving two girls' crap anymore.

These days, a girl who chooses to date more than one person at a time is viewed as somehow dishonest, or a tramp.  I'm not talking about single girls who have strings of first dates, with the occasional second date thrown in.  It seems that if a person is interested in someone past a second date, you've immediately entered in to an unspoken exclusive relationship... it's not kosher to be casually dating more than one guy at a time.  This isn't Free Love Movement stuff either - it was far more mainstream... much as it was common to refer to your girlfriend as your 'baby' or 'little girl' or other terms that are now considered patronizing and condescending and not-at-all-PC.

Mind you, once you made a commitment and got married you were stuck in monogamy... so it's not like there was ever a time where I wouldn't have had to be careful around other people about mentioning DH when I'm with LD and LD when I'm with DH...

but wouldn't it be nice?

I suppose if we were all hippies and lived on one big commune people wouldn't look twice at my many lovers...  but sadly I will never live in a world where I can be free and open about my relationships.

It's a good thing I've gotten very good at censoring my references to having a husband, or a lover...

10 Things...

... that are stressing me out

1. DH and I may need to sell our house because it's making me sick (see previous posts about migraines)... I see my neurologist tonight for one last brainstorming session for other causes
2. Another one of my medical conditions, mostly dormant for the last 3 years, has come back in full force, adding a new level of hell to my daily life
3. My health is a lot like dominos... when one thing flares up it often puts enough stress on my body for other things to flare up... which have.
4. Because of this, I've taken quite a few sick days recently.  My boss has insinuated that I haven't actually been sick and have just been avoiding him because of a critical comment he made.  He has now taken away my accommodations and I have to have a very unpleasant conversation with him about all of this
5. In an effort to try and be the "voice of reason", LD decided to point out my boss' side of things, very much sounding like he was defending my boss.  This is/was greatly upsetting
6. I have 2 outstanding traffic tickets I need to deal with - I'm currently waiting for court dates and trying to decide if $600 to have someone fight both of them is worth it
7. money, Money, MONEY... where is it?
8. Where the hell are the non-creepy bisexual submissive men?  Would we have better luck trying to bed a unicorn?
9. I am still living with DH in an effort to continue to give LD some time to himself.  My head hurts.  I'm nauseous.  Maybe I can make it down to 165 and get my hair extensions.
10. Both of my boys feel frustrated and powerless to make me feel any better

One of the conditions that is starting to give me some minor trouble (minor being relative) requires me to use a cane.  This is the first time I've had to use my cane at this job and I'm torn over inquiries about it.

I hate talking about my conditions - it's no ones business at work what's wrong with me, so on the one hand, I appreciate the people who haven't said a word and act as if nothing is unusual.  On the other hand -what the hell? Do they not care?  If I saw a coworker *relatively* fine one day and shuffling along with a cane the next, I'd inquire about how they're feeling at the very least.

The people who do ask - Are they asking because they're genuinely concerned about how I'm doing, or are they just nosy?  Looking for gossip?  How long before they go to my boss and he spills the beans despite me telling him my disclosure is confidential... he certainly hasn't held back with other details about my health (our entire sales force knows that my house is making me sick).

An Ode to DH

It's been a while since I've extolled the virtues of my Dear Husband - the other part of this poly equation.

Dear Husband...

... does my dishes, because a "clean kitchen = happy wife"

... calls me precious, because "I'm pretty and useless, just like a precious gem"

... massages my feet when I've been tossing and turning for 2 hours and can't sleep

... only does that after snuggling with me for an extended period of time

... can make me laugh even when I'm in the depth of uncontrollable crying

... seems to be able to produce a baseball from nowhere because there's "no crying in baseball"

... somehow always takes my side, even when he's cautioning me from radical behaviour

... is completely and utterly biased, in my favour

... has the sexiest, rock hard ass and calves I've ever had the pleasure of fondling... his quads are pretty good too

... takes my silliness to a whole new level, implementing daily rituals based on them (like trying to blow his belly button lint off of my nose and on to his)

... gives the two stuffed turtles I sleep with interesting personalities

... tucks me in every night, more than once if I'm having a bad night

... looks on with... fond exasperation? ... at all of my bad one night stand/poly experiences

... is happy that I've found someone stable and overall good for me

... calls me a slut in the most endearing way possible

... is my Schmoopy Schmoop forever

The Great Reunion

Last night I returned to my suburb home (as opposed to my downtown home... I feel like the child of divorce and am expecting LD to petition DH for joint custody any day now) and it was truly a joyous reunion... there was much snoogling and fondling to be had, and many reminders of how annoying we can be to each other (I swear I'm taking the squeaky turtle toy and hiding it very far away).  I quite joyously reunited with my electric blanket as well, and vow to bring it with me to my downtown home if/when I move back.  

On a completely separate note, I had to check the blog archives to make sure that I honestly did announce the latest contest.  Really people?  I weep inside.

Monday Morning Always Comes Too Soon

Good Morning Dear Readers!

Today is a sad day (but for whom, I'm not sure)... Tonight I move back in with my husband to test our migraine theory once more... I suspect that Dear Husband just likes using me as a guinea pig, or perhaps he just missed me... or he's hungry...  either way, I left LD this morning, and will go home after work to DH.

I must say, living with DH is going to feel like a vacation.  Between moving and cleaning and general servitude, I am achy from head to toe and suspect I will be asking my RMT on Saturday to extend our session.

If/when the migraine returns, I'll be hightailing it back to LDs place, and I suppose that will completely validate the theory that it's the house... nothing has really shown up as a cause though, which is baffling.  

In other news, I managed to drain LD completely dry, sucking him off to the point of blinding headache and leaving Him feeling drugged and disoriented all day.  I wish I knew exactly what I did though, so that I can replicate it!

We were supposed to have a date with the cheating crossdresser Saturday night, but I rescheduled him for next weekend, what with the tired and the achy and the boxes and the mess... instead I got pissed while LD set up some IKEA we had purchased, and had a really fascinating discussion about music and digital quality, etc.  Sunday we went down to the billiards room in His building and He taught me how to play pool.  I have to say, I don't know why it took me this long to bring this out in Him, but I *love* it when He goes in to teacher mode.  Gets me all hot and bothered (and yes, there are a lot of things that get me hot and bothered, but this in particular really does it for me).

That is all... my life is just too boring right now... relatively speaking.

A Dialog with DH...

While tucking me in to bed the other night, DH out of the blue tell me "You're precious"

I look at him quizzically "Precious?" I repeat.

"Yes, precious!"

Disbelieving, I ask him "like.. short bus precious?"

Those of you who know DH, know that he's not the sort to toss around sweet pet names..

"No, no.. precious, like a pearl or an emerald"

I look at him again, silently asking for the punch line...

"You're pretty and useless!"

well! I nearly bust a gut laughing, I had tears streaming down my face... I swear, that man always knows how to put a smile on my face when I need it most...

try it on your loved one today, see if you get the same reaction :D